Twelve years ago, I stood in front of the cleaning supply section at a Safeway in Guerneville, California, frozen. “You’re looking for the magic wand. It’s not here,” my brother-in-law Scott said gently. We were preparing to go into my mom’s house. Was it twelve years ago? Were we moving her stuff to a new … Continue reading Target, Kaiser, and Man’s Search for Meaning →

It flew! This month, I gained no pounds, I lost no pounds, but even though the scale stood still, everything else seemed to be moving. A social event that filled my emotional brain with anticipation and some anxiety for several weeks leading up to it was, just as my logical brain predicted, wonderful in ways … Continue reading March didn’t march →

As predicted, I was up almost a pound last week. That was actually not too bad. Sorry, everyone, for coming into Weight Watchers naked but I just couldn't afford to weigh my clothes. I'm already behind in my planning for the week, which excites Perfectionist Me who likes to throw herself on the nearest divan … Continue reading Little successes, little goals →

I will not focus on one week. I will not focus on one week. I will not focus on one week. Says the person who definitely did not lose "weight" this week. It's possible I lost fat but, who knows. Today I finally used the fat-o-meter my boyfriend left lying around: 30.1% However, I've been … Continue reading Gird yer loins, it’s almost weigh-in day →

One thing I'm looking forward to is looking forward to getting dressed each day. There was a time when it was fun, or at least not stressful. In the last couple years, I've spent as little time as possible thinking about clothes, buying clothes, or looking at clothes once I've put them on. And I … Continue reading Getting dressed →

I have said, "Today is Day 1 of my training schedule/diet/making my bed every day" so many times that I made it into a joke: Day 1 Daily. Every day is Day 1, forever, or until I am out of days, whichever comes first. I don't mean to imply that I never get anywhere or … Continue reading Beginner’s mind →

Remember that ad slogan? It's exactly as old as I am: born in 1971. It's funny how a person claiming something for herself alone (in this case, in the form of spending money on her hair) is a message that I still respond to. You'd think we'd be so past that, 47 years later. I … Continue reading “Because I’m worth it.” →